September 2000 Rant
9-21-00
I just watched a report on some Dateline/60 Minutes/20-20 type of show. It seems - and friends, now hang on to something, cause this may shock you, but apparently it just MAY be dangerous to jump on one of those back yard Trampolines. NO SHIT! Come on! Some kid has actually filed suit against a manufacturer because he was not really familiar with this trampoline and how to use it (hmmmmmmmmmm) and it seems he was bouncing, and got near the edge and damned if the thing didn't bounce his ass off on to the ground, causing him physical damage. Truthfully I just find this hard to believe (he says sarcastically) because I can't imagine that the mere act of jumping up and down on a large round piece of canvas attached to some flimsy metal contraption four feet off the ground with, oh, I don't know 50 or so SPRINGS would ever, ever cause a person to be propelled off on to the ground. Am I missing something here? Isn't this about like smokers suing tobacco companies for getting cancer when the little box the cigarettes come in TELL you that you WILL get cancer? Oh, no, actually, this is like the little old dumbshit lady that sued McDonalds when she put HOT steaming coffee in her LAP and then got burned. IMAGINE!! Who'd have thunk it? You know, when I was a kid (and here I risk sounding like some old Grandpa dude) but when I was a kid we used to ride in those red METAL wagons, with the black handle pulled back to use as the steering device, and we'd go screaming our asses down the hills and streets and sometimes we flew off, and sometimes that black handle would impale itself in our chests, or knock us in the teeth or something, but damn it, we were stupid kids and that shit just happened, and our parents wouldn't sue the wagon maker, they'd slap us upside the head and tell us not to be such freakin' boneheads. If more people would take responsibility for their own stupidity, instead of suing everything that moves, the world would just be a better place to live, don't you think?
I just watched a report on some Dateline/60 Minutes/20-20 type of show. It seems - and friends, now hang on to something, cause this may shock you, but apparently it just MAY be dangerous to jump on one of those back yard Trampolines. NO SHIT! Come on! Some kid has actually filed suit against a manufacturer because he was not really familiar with this trampoline and how to use it (hmmmmmmmmmm) and it seems he was bouncing, and got near the edge and damned if the thing didn't bounce his ass off on to the ground, causing him physical damage. Truthfully I just find this hard to believe (he says sarcastically) because I can't imagine that the mere act of jumping up and down on a large round piece of canvas attached to some flimsy metal contraption four feet off the ground with, oh, I don't know 50 or so SPRINGS would ever, ever cause a person to be propelled off on to the ground. Am I missing something here? Isn't this about like smokers suing tobacco companies for getting cancer when the little box the cigarettes come in TELL you that you WILL get cancer? Oh, no, actually, this is like the little old dumbshit lady that sued McDonalds when she put HOT steaming coffee in her LAP and then got burned. IMAGINE!! Who'd have thunk it? You know, when I was a kid (and here I risk sounding like some old Grandpa dude) but when I was a kid we used to ride in those red METAL wagons, with the black handle pulled back to use as the steering device, and we'd go screaming our asses down the hills and streets and sometimes we flew off, and sometimes that black handle would impale itself in our chests, or knock us in the teeth or something, but damn it, we were stupid kids and that shit just happened, and our parents wouldn't sue the wagon maker, they'd slap us upside the head and tell us not to be such freakin' boneheads. If more people would take responsibility for their own stupidity, instead of suing everything that moves, the world would just be a better place to live, don't you think?