Rants from 2000
Random, Old Rants. Have fun.
10-30-00
Question. I know Hypocrites are everywhere, I mean, Hell, you're one, aren't you? Ha! I know I am. Now, you probably KNOW where I stand on the following issues, and I'm not really making a case here for any one particular thing, but instead am trying to point out how stupid and hypocritical we ALL are, even me. That said, what do you make of this? The same people who say you should not be allowed to choose an abortion say you SHOULD be allowed to just get a gun anytime, anyplace and walk around with it on your hip, if you so CHOOSE, and oh, you don't need no stinking license, either. Oh, and they defend the death penalty. Don't kill 'em before they're born, they say, we'll get 'em once they grow up. Then, you have the people who say, you SHOULD be allowed to choose whether or not to have an abortion, but you should NOT be able to get a gun or carry a gun, or even make guns anymore, and oh, yeah, we should NOT have the death penalty. So they say, let's kill the babies, but if they DO grow up to be serial killers, well, let 'em be. And why do both sides get to be PRO? Pro Choice doesn't want to be Anti Life, and Pro Life doesn't want to be Anti Choice. And what about helmet laws. I mean, if it is constitutionally legal for you to decide to have an abortion, shouldn't you be able to decide to splatter your brains on the Interstate if you so CHOOSE?? I mean, I would never be stupid enough to ride without a helmet, but the world is full of idiots that will, and you can't legislate stupidity. I say, let 'em ride, and splatter at will. Just thinning the herd, right? Hmmmm.
I saw Nelly on the MTV today, and his damn pants were actually hanging at the bottom end of his boxers. I'm waiting for the day when these kids just let those damn pants fall all the way to their ankles, then maybe they'll be interesting to watch, as they're up on stage doing that "on the toilet, run for the phone" jog across stage, pants at their ankles, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.... Yep, now THAT would be fun to watch.
11-3-00
Funniest thing. I got a refund check in the mail today from the state of Missouri. You know, there was an excess in the amount of revenue collected? By law they can only collect a set amount? The excess is then distributed to taxpayers? Well, anyway, along with the check comes a Frequently Asked Questions slip of paper.
What's the first "Frequently" asked question? "Why am I receiving this check?" Now who in their right mind ever asks that question? WHY am I getting money? HOW can I make this stop? THIS can't be right! Listen, if you get a check in the mail, just HUSH. Go down to the bank, cash it, and smile to yourself. Don't ask questions. There are far too many important questions to ponder, other than "Why did I get this check?"
12-8-00
I read where the New Hampshire Supreme Court granted worker's compensation payments to a state employee for work-related depression, even though the cause of the depression was merely that she had received bad performance reviews. The state appeals board acknowledged the employee had been justifiably cited for inaccurate work and a bad attitude. Hmmm, so now that bad attitude and all those screw-ups are gonna pay off! Guess Mom and most of my former bosses were wrong!
12-1-00
In Utah this month teachers staged a one-day walkout to protest crowded classrooms, low per-student spending, and tattered textbooks. The teachers union said 80 percent of the state's 22,000 teachers took part in the strike, which forced the closing of hundreds of schools. Republican House Majority Leader Kevin Garn said he and other lawmakers are becoming frustrated with the teachers' complaints. Garn said lawmakers had increased education spending 7.4 percent last year. WOW! Seven percent! Man, those lawmakers certainly are generous! At a time when we are spending billions of dollars sending people and machines into space, and to think of all the money spent by politicians and their supporters on the recent election, it just irks me to no end that teachers in this country are treated so poorly. Maybe if we spent a little more on education, our kids would grow up and actually be able to send something to Mars that would NOT get lost and waste so much money.
11-1-00
Ooh, Ooh, first rant of November, baby! Let's see if I can beat October's record, huh? Well, anyway, a while back I had that whole Infomercial rant, in which I mentioned that it seems you have to have a British or Australian accent to be qualified to sell mops and cleaning supplies. Well, I'm sure you have certainly noticed lately that obviously the predominant accent for phone psychics is Jamaican maaaaaan. What is the deal with THAT woman? It's like, at first we had a few different psychic commercials, and they would all be chatting away, and you'd hear this Jamaican woman in there somewhere, but now, slowly, she has become the LONE psychic. And, I gotta wonder, are all these people manning the phones for this joint having to speak in a fake Jamaican accent now? I mean, I know they were probably just actors anyway, so it should not be that much of a stretch to just throw in the accent, but think about it. Here they already have the difficult job of trying to say something that loosely matches anyone who calls, you know, "Let's see, I see that you have a...is it a dog? Oh, a hamster? Yes, that's right, it IS a hamster, I see that now," and NOW they have to concentrate on remembering to do the accent also. Gee, I hope these people are getting paid accordingly. Well, thanks for listening
10-30-00
Question. I know Hypocrites are everywhere, I mean, Hell, you're one, aren't you? Ha! I know I am. Now, you probably KNOW where I stand on the following issues, and I'm not really making a case here for any one particular thing, but instead am trying to point out how stupid and hypocritical we ALL are, even me. That said, what do you make of this? The same people who say you should not be allowed to choose an abortion say you SHOULD be allowed to just get a gun anytime, anyplace and walk around with it on your hip, if you so CHOOSE, and oh, you don't need no stinking license, either. Oh, and they defend the death penalty. Don't kill 'em before they're born, they say, we'll get 'em once they grow up. Then, you have the people who say, you SHOULD be allowed to choose whether or not to have an abortion, but you should NOT be able to get a gun or carry a gun, or even make guns anymore, and oh, yeah, we should NOT have the death penalty. So they say, let's kill the babies, but if they DO grow up to be serial killers, well, let 'em be. And why do both sides get to be PRO? Pro Choice doesn't want to be Anti Life, and Pro Life doesn't want to be Anti Choice. And what about helmet laws. I mean, if it is constitutionally legal for you to decide to have an abortion, shouldn't you be able to decide to splatter your brains on the Interstate if you so CHOOSE?? I mean, I would never be stupid enough to ride without a helmet, but the world is full of idiots that will, and you can't legislate stupidity. I say, let 'em ride, and splatter at will. Just thinning the herd, right? Hmmmm.
I saw Nelly on the MTV today, and his damn pants were actually hanging at the bottom end of his boxers. I'm waiting for the day when these kids just let those damn pants fall all the way to their ankles, then maybe they'll be interesting to watch, as they're up on stage doing that "on the toilet, run for the phone" jog across stage, pants at their ankles, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.... Yep, now THAT would be fun to watch.
11-3-00
Funniest thing. I got a refund check in the mail today from the state of Missouri. You know, there was an excess in the amount of revenue collected? By law they can only collect a set amount? The excess is then distributed to taxpayers? Well, anyway, along with the check comes a Frequently Asked Questions slip of paper.
What's the first "Frequently" asked question? "Why am I receiving this check?" Now who in their right mind ever asks that question? WHY am I getting money? HOW can I make this stop? THIS can't be right! Listen, if you get a check in the mail, just HUSH. Go down to the bank, cash it, and smile to yourself. Don't ask questions. There are far too many important questions to ponder, other than "Why did I get this check?"
12-8-00
I read where the New Hampshire Supreme Court granted worker's compensation payments to a state employee for work-related depression, even though the cause of the depression was merely that she had received bad performance reviews. The state appeals board acknowledged the employee had been justifiably cited for inaccurate work and a bad attitude. Hmmm, so now that bad attitude and all those screw-ups are gonna pay off! Guess Mom and most of my former bosses were wrong!
12-1-00
In Utah this month teachers staged a one-day walkout to protest crowded classrooms, low per-student spending, and tattered textbooks. The teachers union said 80 percent of the state's 22,000 teachers took part in the strike, which forced the closing of hundreds of schools. Republican House Majority Leader Kevin Garn said he and other lawmakers are becoming frustrated with the teachers' complaints. Garn said lawmakers had increased education spending 7.4 percent last year. WOW! Seven percent! Man, those lawmakers certainly are generous! At a time when we are spending billions of dollars sending people and machines into space, and to think of all the money spent by politicians and their supporters on the recent election, it just irks me to no end that teachers in this country are treated so poorly. Maybe if we spent a little more on education, our kids would grow up and actually be able to send something to Mars that would NOT get lost and waste so much money.
11-1-00
Ooh, Ooh, first rant of November, baby! Let's see if I can beat October's record, huh? Well, anyway, a while back I had that whole Infomercial rant, in which I mentioned that it seems you have to have a British or Australian accent to be qualified to sell mops and cleaning supplies. Well, I'm sure you have certainly noticed lately that obviously the predominant accent for phone psychics is Jamaican maaaaaan. What is the deal with THAT woman? It's like, at first we had a few different psychic commercials, and they would all be chatting away, and you'd hear this Jamaican woman in there somewhere, but now, slowly, she has become the LONE psychic. And, I gotta wonder, are all these people manning the phones for this joint having to speak in a fake Jamaican accent now? I mean, I know they were probably just actors anyway, so it should not be that much of a stretch to just throw in the accent, but think about it. Here they already have the difficult job of trying to say something that loosely matches anyone who calls, you know, "Let's see, I see that you have a...is it a dog? Oh, a hamster? Yes, that's right, it IS a hamster, I see that now," and NOW they have to concentrate on remembering to do the accent also. Gee, I hope these people are getting paid accordingly. Well, thanks for listening