Movie Theatre Rant from 2001
3-22-01
I swear if I ever kill someone it will be in a movie theater. I went to see Traffic tonight and I had the luck to sit behind these four people who decided Traffic was not good enough alone, but indeed, needed their running commentary. I'm not sure if their commentary will show up on the Director's cut of the DVD, but for your sake I certainly hope so. Wouldn't want you to miss any of the intelligent banter. See, the problem, as I have stated several times before, is that people have the mistaken idea that they are at home, in their living room, surrounded by an audience just WAITING to hear what interesting things they have to say during the movie. Also, I'm sure they think the rest of us can simply hit pause or rewind to catch what we missed while they attempted to entertain us. Is this a 15 minute fame thing? Where is this attitude coming from? This guy tonight seemed as if he was there to enlighten everyone and show us all what an interesting person he was. He made me want to toss the M & M's my wife had smuggled in right on his head a couple of times. He said something once and a person a row or two in front of him heard and chuckled. This only fueled the fire. He then got it in his head that he was sent to the movie theater on a Thursday night in order to peddle his personal dog and pony show to us all. It got so bad at one point that he was talking TO the characters in the movie, congratulating them on how mean they were or something, and then looking around to make sure we all heard him. And so, once again, another person escapes me to live another day, all because we don't walk around with six shooters on our hips anymore. You know, thinking about it, had there been movie theaters in the Old West, there would probably be fewer people now, because the population would have been thinned considerably by nice folks like you and me shooting the shit out of assholes who TALK LOUDLY in the theater. Ok, there. I have vented. I feel good now. Let's have ice cream.
I swear if I ever kill someone it will be in a movie theater. I went to see Traffic tonight and I had the luck to sit behind these four people who decided Traffic was not good enough alone, but indeed, needed their running commentary. I'm not sure if their commentary will show up on the Director's cut of the DVD, but for your sake I certainly hope so. Wouldn't want you to miss any of the intelligent banter. See, the problem, as I have stated several times before, is that people have the mistaken idea that they are at home, in their living room, surrounded by an audience just WAITING to hear what interesting things they have to say during the movie. Also, I'm sure they think the rest of us can simply hit pause or rewind to catch what we missed while they attempted to entertain us. Is this a 15 minute fame thing? Where is this attitude coming from? This guy tonight seemed as if he was there to enlighten everyone and show us all what an interesting person he was. He made me want to toss the M & M's my wife had smuggled in right on his head a couple of times. He said something once and a person a row or two in front of him heard and chuckled. This only fueled the fire. He then got it in his head that he was sent to the movie theater on a Thursday night in order to peddle his personal dog and pony show to us all. It got so bad at one point that he was talking TO the characters in the movie, congratulating them on how mean they were or something, and then looking around to make sure we all heard him. And so, once again, another person escapes me to live another day, all because we don't walk around with six shooters on our hips anymore. You know, thinking about it, had there been movie theaters in the Old West, there would probably be fewer people now, because the population would have been thinned considerably by nice folks like you and me shooting the shit out of assholes who TALK LOUDLY in the theater. Ok, there. I have vented. I feel good now. Let's have ice cream.