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1997.. First part of first draft

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I turned 11 in the summer of 1977, between 6th and 7th grade. Jimmy Carter was President. Star Wars had just come out. And Elvis only had a few weeks left to live. That same summer, Mom married her 4th husband Buddy, and we all moved to a house. Before that, Buddy had been staying with his Mom, and my Mom, my brother and I were in a government subsidized townhome where we had lived for 3 years. The new house was in a different school district, but Mom said it would be easy for me since I was going from elementary to junior high anyway and there would be tons of people who didn’t know each other. My brother Chris would have to be the new kid in third grade at his school, but again, Mom said it shouldn’t be that big of a deal, because who really knows very many people when you’re 8 years old. In the new neighborhood we were on the last street, as far back in the subdivision as you could go, which meant there were woods and a big empty field behind our house. And if you hiked through...
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Ben

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When we moved into our house in 1977, there was a black labrador in the backyard. The people who sold the house couldn’t take him so they left him and that’s how we ended up with Ben. Ben, I think, was really ok with them leaving him behind, because he was pretty attached to the house and the neighborhood. He was old and fat and slow but he would walk around the neighborhood, taking it easy and saying Hi to anyone who he happened upon. Sometimes he would lay down in the very middle of the street, and I mean right on the place where the stripe would separate the 2 lanes, except there wasn’t a stripe. Cars would slow down and honk at him but he would wait until they stopped completely and then he’d slowly stand up and saunter to the side of the road. So weird, like he was a living speed bump, keeping the cars from going too fast to notice some kid running after a ball or riding their bike out from behind a parked van. We were always afraid he’d get run over, but for some reason, we never...
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It never occurred to me...

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It never occurred to me When you made me promise never to leave you I should have made the same request I see all of you, the light and the darkness I love, and will love, all of you forever I promised In the end I did my best My chapter in your book of life is lost, as if it never existed Or was a vicious pest People thought us an unlikely couple Couldn’t fathom the connection Thought it was a jest They could not understand, we offered each other protection We made a nest I guess they knew all along what I refused to see I was confused There was no such thing As you and me Now I wrestle my grief into a coffin of spiritual fitness Every moment stands as a witness “Crazy man,” they whisper, “he thought she loved him back.” Only seeing in me, something I lack But I will not hang my head in shame I kept my promise, I passed the test My heart I did not guard And my love I gave, without reserve In the end, it was far far more So much more than you deserved
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Story Starter Jan 3

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January 3rd, 2014 StoryStarter prompt: The bite of the wind and the driving snow made the mundane trek from house to car seem like a trip to Hell frozen over... The bite of the wind and the driving snow made the mundane trek from the house to the car seem like a trip to Hell frozen over. But once inside, with the heater blowing full blast on his face and feet, and the wind blocked by the glass and steel of the 2006 Subaru Outback with 4 wheel drive, Danny felt immediately warmer and happier. After all... he was going to hunt Bigfoot, so a little snow would be good for tracking purposes.
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Principalities

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January 2nd, 2014 StoryStarter prompt: His touch was gentle against her cheek, but the kindness in his eyes had give way to a clouded fury that scared her... It was her first time in the principal's office, so Brianne had no idea what to expect. It was sort of weird that they brought her in and sat her down in the wooden hardback chair and left her alone in the drab little grey walled office, she thought. I mean, weren't there things of value in the office? Maybe in the desk? Or the lone file cabinet sitting next to the desk? If she was the type of person who got sent to the principal's office, weren't they afraid she would be the type of person who might steal the brass armadillo paperweight? Or the coffee mug with BECKENWORTH HIGH printed on the side? Were the answers to EVERY exam located somewhere in a drawer? Couldn't she just snoop around a little and cause all sorts of trouble? Couldn't she take the Sharpie marker from within the cup o' pens sitting...
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Lightning Flashes

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January 1, 2014 StoryStarter prompt: "A flash of lightning illuminated the room, revealing the transparent silhouette of a man directly in front of her." Helen woke with a start and when she could focus she glanced at the clock on the living room wall. 9:39. But was that a.m. or p.m? She felt confused for a moment, then noticed the darkness outside and realized she had fallen asleep on the couch and had taken a long nap, but hadn't managed to sleep through the night. It was raining hard now. The storm was just starting to move in when she had arrived home and fixed herself dinner. She must have been lulled to sleep by the warm food in her belly, the evening news and the rain thumping against the window. The decision now, of course, was whether to stay on the couch and try to go back to sleep, or get up and do something, or better yet, find her way to bed and REALLY give sleep another try. She sighed, slowly rose, and took her plate to the kitchen. As she rounded the c...
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Blahs....

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So I have a wicked case of the winter blahs. Which is appropriate, as it is January. I hate the Midwest so damn much. Some day, before I die, I would love to live in Vegas...or California. Actually, maybe a home in each place. I need SUNSHINE and warmth. I should really consider moving to Hawaii now that I think about the time difference. Since I like to go to sleep at 3 a.m. Central time....in Hawaii I'd be going to bed at around 9 or 10 p.m. or something...right? I'm not sure how many hours behind me they are, but at least 3 and probably something like 6. This would be something I could look up fairly easily...but I won't. Okay, that's it. No Vegas or Cali either one. Hawaii it is. Hmmmm, they don't have any casinos there though...okay, this could be trouble. Oh....I need to go to bed...toooooo sleepy to be writing anything right now.
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LOST...and well, TV in general

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So I realized that the only show I'm even remotely interested in watching right now is Lost. They finally showed a new episode this week. More on that later. I guess I also like Grey's Anatomy quite a bit, but I could miss it and wouldn't be too upset. I miss the Sopranos, and Rescue Me, and Survivor and the World Series of Poker. Actually, since Seinfeld left several years ago, there haven't really been too many shows that I HAD to stay home to watch, or had to tape to watch later. I don't know if this means I'm growing....and moving away from the drivel on TV....or I have just for some reason started weaning myself off. I don't watch anything new. I hear about "good" new shows but I don't feel like getting myself involved in yet another new show. Then again...for some reason I started watching Rescue Me a couple of years ago and got hooked on it. I also liked Six Feet Under...and then I do NOT KNOW WHY...but I started watching Lost when it ca...
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New Hardware Store Column From 2001

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4-14-01 Well, last weekend we went out to the big Lowe's Hardware store at 291 and 40 Hiway in Independence. It was the first Saturday they were open. Can't resist. The place was packed. People with trucks were parking over in the grass. What is it about new stores opening that seem like an old time small town church revival? Is this what we've come to in Suburbia? Instead of being drawn to a fire and brimstone, charm-filled, fancy dressed preacher screaming about "Gaahawed and Jeeesuhs" and everlasting light, we are now beckoned by sparkling new roto-tillers and wallpaper and pear trees and toilets and ceiling fans and tools, my word, the tools. Everyone knows you only need three tools. A hammer, a saw and a screwdriver. That's it. Everything else is just a fancier way of hammering or sawing or screwdriving. Think about it. By all accounts a Hardware store should be about the size of a large living room. The three tools, some plumbing accessories, a paint br...
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Movie Theatre Rant from 2001

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3-22-01 I swear if I ever kill someone it will be in a movie theater. I went to see Traffic tonight and I had the luck to sit behind these four people who decided Traffic was not good enough alone, but indeed, needed their running commentary. I'm not sure if their commentary will show up on the Director's cut of the DVD, but for your sake I certainly hope so. Wouldn't want you to miss any of the intelligent banter. See, the problem, as I have stated several times before, is that people have the mistaken idea that they are at home, in their living room, surrounded by an audience just WAITING to hear what interesting things they have to say during the movie. Also, I'm sure they think the rest of us can simply hit pause or rewind to catch what we missed while they attempted to entertain us. Is this a 15 minute fame thing? Where is this attitude coming from? This guy tonight seemed as if he was there to enlighten everyone and show us all what an interesting person he was. ...
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Column from Valentine's Day 2001

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2-15-01 Ok, well, we all just survived another Valentine's Day, but I have to admit, it got me thinking. There were a few poor souls who may have had a rough time of it. Yes, of course, I'm talking about all the celebrities who broke up fairly recently. Can't remember them all? My pleasure. There was Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher, Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger, Janet Jackson and that DeBarge fellow, Ellen Degeneres and Anne Heche, Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid, Puffy and Jennifer Lopez, and Tom and Nicole. Hell, even Hugh Hefner broke up with his wife just a year or so ago. Of course, now he has like, seven girlfriends who ALL sleep in the same bed with him, so I don't know, that's sort of different. And you know, some of these couples really really seemed like they would work. I mean, maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, because I really thought Liz Taylor and that construction worker guy had a chance, and that didn't work out, but I don't know, I'...
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Super Bowl...Chiefs...Football Rant

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1-29-01 I watched the Super Bowl yesterday. Actually, I read the paper and worked on my taxes during the game itself. I really just watched to catch the cool commercials and the MTV halftime show. I know, that is sort of like saying I only read Playboy for the articles, but it's true. Amazing, I wasn't really sure who was playing, didn't know any of the players, and was surprised to find some who I could have swore were members of other teams last time I paid attention. You see, I am the most fickle of fair weather fans. If my team, The Chiefs, are having a good, winning season, well then call me Mr. Football. If not, I don't even like to wear my Chiefs sweatshirt at any time during that particular winter. A few years back I played Fantasy Football, and that was pretty cool. It actually made me pay attention to the teams, and who was playing where, and how they were doing. I was genuinely interested in the sport. (There was money involved.) Also, I used to get in th...
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Speeding Cell Phone Rant

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11-2-00 My friend Dwayne just called me from the road. And yes, as a matter of fact, he WAS driving while talking on his cell phone, and NO, I don't have a problem with it, as I do it all the time. If you tell me I can't talk on the phone and drive, then I don't want to see any more applying lipstick, or adjusting the radio knobs, or changing tapes or CD's, or eating McDonald's either. I can drive just as safely while talking on my cell phone as I can steering with one knee while I unwrap my cheeseburger, so GET OFF ME!! Ok, now, anyway, Dwayne calls, and he is complaining cause a police officer has pulled on to the Interstate, and is driving 55 mph in the fast lane, and all these idiots are slowing down, not wanting to pass the nice police officer. I too, hate when that happens. Dwayne did as I do, and boldly went right by at 65, causing other lemmings to follow suit. Meanwhile, some people are still not wanting to pass the cop, and they are in the middle an...
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September 2000 Rant

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9-21-00 I just watched a report on some Dateline/60 Minutes/20-20 type of show. It seems - and friends, now hang on to something, cause this may shock you, but apparently it just MAY be dangerous to jump on one of those back yard Trampolines. NO SHIT! Come on! Some kid has actually filed suit against a manufacturer because he was not really familiar with this trampoline and how to use it (hmmmmmmmmmm) and it seems he was bouncing, and got near the edge and damned if the thing didn't bounce his ass off on to the ground, causing him physical damage. Truthfully I just find this hard to believe (he says sarcastically) because I can't imagine that the mere act of jumping up and down on a large round piece of canvas attached to some flimsy metal contraption four feet off the ground with, oh, I don't know 50 or so SPRINGS would ever, ever cause a person to be propelled off on to the ground. Am I missing something here? Isn't this about like smokers suing tobacco compan...
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Rant Disclaimer

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The Trippy D Rant Disclaimer: The outlandish opinions and views contained heretofore within are not necessarily yours, nor are they at all times entirely derived from beliefs held by anyone now known or formerly known to be living, either currently or previously on this planet or any others, including but at times also excluding the author, as well as any other authors plagiarized or basically misquoted by the author or agents working for, by, or under the direction of the author. Reading these views may or may not cause diarrhea, shortage of breath, orgasm, wild mood-swings, and the ability to create live-action creatures using only soap and some sort of eating utensil recently warmed by sunlight passed through a magnifying glass, or at the lack of thus some other hot thing, like a match that has been struck and is emitting a flame. Warning: Dogs in the vicinity of you, within a 50-foot range will experience very little stress as a direct result of these opinions, but the h...
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Rants from late 2000

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September 2000 Tell me why in the world I just saw a Handicap Spot at Sonic? You pull in, stay in your car, the waitress comes out, brings your stuff. You never have to leave your seat. Isn't EVERY spot at Sonic a Handicap spot. Just wondering. And speaking of Fast Food Joints, what's the deal with the condiments? They won't give you any ketchup unless you ask, I suppose so they can save money, but then when you DO ask, they give you like 27 packets. You have one medium load of fries, and they just gave you the total allotment for an hour's worth of customers. Not saving a lot there are they? And napkins? Come on! You have 5 people in the car, all of you with salt drenched fries and greasy burgers, and you dig through the bag, handing everyone their stuff and then at the bottom, what do you have? Two napkins. Hmmm, don't tell me these high school kids aren't learning any math skills. August 2000 Why do I get a "Permanent Voter ID Card" in the...
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Rants from 2000

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Random, Old Rants. Have fun. 10-30-00 Question. I know Hypocrites are everywhere, I mean, Hell, you're one, aren't you? Ha! I know I am. Now, you probably KNOW where I stand on the following issues, and I'm not really making a case here for any one particular thing, but instead am trying to point out how stupid and hypocritical we ALL are, even me. That said, what do you make of this? The same people who say you should not be allowed to choose an abortion say you SHOULD be allowed to just get a gun anytime, anyplace and walk around with it on your hip, if you so CHOOSE, and oh, you don't need no stinking license, either. Oh, and they defend the death penalty. Don't kill 'em before they're born, they say, we'll get 'em once they grow up. Then, you have the people who say, you SHOULD be allowed to choose whether or not to have an abortion, but you should NOT be able to get a gun or carry a gun, or even make guns anymore, and oh, yeah, we should NO...
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My Original 10 Rants

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Enjoy my Original 10 RANTS. Sroll and laugh. Thanks. Rant Number One: Okay, I'm behind this dillweed in a pickup, going about 35 mph. He decides to turn right, so he just slows down all of the sudden and turns. Well I almost ran in to the back of him, so I honk. He stops in the lot he's just pulled in and turns to flip me off. Now, this guy was in the wrong and he's flipping me off as if I did something. That pisses me off! So I stopped and flipped him off too, and yelled. Then he got out of his truck and starts walking towards me, so I backed up and gassed it. By the time he realized what I was doing and headed back to his truck, it was too late. I ran his ass down, slamming him back against his truck. Then, I pulled away, satisfied, and continued on my way to my therapy appointment. Rant Number Two: The fight against drugs and prostitution. Now will someone please tell me why the government keeps spending money to fight these things instead of legaliz...
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Childhood Memory

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A Memory My mother woke us and led us to the car. We took the pajamas we were wearing and nothing else. We went back to sleep on the way to Grandma and Grandpa's. We didn't realize we had just lost all our toys and clothes and books. My brother and I were too young and tired to realize that my mother had finally been beaten enough. She was near death but she got us safely to Grandma's, then she went to the hospital. The next week, Grandpa drove us over in his station wagon to pick up some of our stuff. We were all silent for the 30-minute drive. Everything had already been said. Even my little brother sensed this was not time to jump around in the back seat or argue over how much of his seat was occupied by my hand. He sat quietly staring out the window. I watched my mother, her fingers lightly stroking the fresh bandage on her forehead as she stared through the floorboard. Finally, we were turning on to our street. I stared ahead as we drove slowly through the nei...
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